('0') Love my Animal Family ('0')

Monday, November 05, 2007

haiz......now in class.....mood have never been better...aunty say after crying then still got to face the fact, today will be a better day....whole night can't sleep well....now eye can't open much..

no better, having headache.....thinking too much again(can't help to stop thinking)...two things tht i always think too much....(family + relation)....realli no one can save me......cause the family problem is there for 19 year liao....i can't change my family de mah.....i'm realli a puppet to them....i knoe they love me and care for me....for their care is = provide me stay , food and money nia....but what i want is parent tht i can speak to, i can't always talk to friend de mah....later friend all say i fan them jiu worse lor...for relation, dunno y when i like a person i can like for a long time de leh, realli stupid to tel him i want give up since he already gave up......i realli can't give up now....can't we be very very good friends mah???can't forget him! he realli can leave me alone??he ralli dun want to contact liao mah?? realli no feeling liao mah??

i have been keeping the problem abt parent in my heart....i never say anything....most of the time i say to friend is how i qurrel and get scolding....now saying this topic liao cause yesterday night the topic have been talking abt them....then i can't stand liao...one shot say out everything....feel abt better aft saying...but stress they will bu xiao xin say out...then mum knoe, i will be kill sia!!!

everyone always say i'm so fortunate,everytime got parent to fetch me, everytime got parent there to care for me...but please...if a house without arguement, i will be willing to stay home....if at home every of my single movement is not being scolded , then i will stay home....

jie they all say i dun like go home, everytime so free go find them....yah, not i want fan u all de mah..if my house is peaceful i will go home....i dun want to face the sound, i want to run away...

yesterday thought of calling lion(but i promise not to fan him), rabbit(pai seh to fan her) jie or bear (both tired aft work) de......wanted someone to talk and care for me....wanted cal sis de but knoe tht when cal them they will be busy or even when talk can feel tht they sound not very willing to listen..cause they have been listening to the same thing again and again right....but i just knoe tht if i talk to them abt all this, my heart will not be so coped up......

....yesterday cry whole night at stall there...if mum knoe sure kill me....her face is always the most important.....

realli dunno what i can do liao.....feeling tht the world is all going against me.....stress......i'm giving myself too much stress....too much unnecessary thinking.....

can i have lion be as close like before???y i'm keep holding on.....ralli tht difficult to let go.............no mood and feel sleepy.....